A tonic for the times

Squeeze the essence of ten mandarins,

Add liberal doses of Abbott juice, Bishop bile,

Hubris of Hockey and hypocrisy of cardinal.

Set aside to fester.

Take neck of Swan and Shorten for pot.

Simmer over low heat.

Grate gall of Gillard and Combet well

With slice of Smith and pinch of Rudd.

Add to pot, stirring thoroughly.

When Swan neck tender, set aside to cool.

Peel a promise and discard core.

Stuff with minced mining magnate,

Diced gambling tycoon and

The contradictions of seventeen economists.

Half bake in hot oven.

Extract xenophobia and sexism

From six shock-jocks and compost.

Feed remnants to chooks.

Throw political commentators

And pollsters down a deep well,

As a treat for future archaeologists.

Combine festering essence and Swan soup

In a blender and mix well.

Add stuffed promise, garnish with Greens,

And serve cold with lashings of revenge.

It tastes like shit,

But you know it’s good for you.